I know NOW that from the very beginning the Lord planted a mission in my path but I was completely oblivious probably to the point of even purposely ignoring. Just a little more then a year ago I was convinced I would be married by the age 21. (21 was the previous age girls could go on a mission.) I was taught not to give up the chance to be married to go on a mission and to be honest I was excited to be married. That was my goal. Marry Chaz Green right after he was home from his mission. I couldn't (possibly wouldn't) see an alternative.
Then Andrew came along. Haha oh Andrew. I will be honest, he kinda forced himself into my life. I made some mistakes in the beginning when switching my love interest. I didn't cut it off with Chaz before kissing Andrew (though I like to say he kissed me first, but I kissed back). The reason for this was the fear. I liked the feeling of having tight control over my life and was absolutely terrified of it spinning out of control. But look there was life going crazy making me quite dizzy. I was confused and tired. Both boys told me to make a decision that I didn't want to make. Then during one of the many DTRs (Defining The Relationship known at BYU) Andrew and I had, he said something that hit me pretty hard. "I understand that Chaz has been your safety blanket for a long time. I just don't want you to make this decision because of fear." I decided to consider it once more before making the final decision. He left and I went to bed.
I lay in bed for a long time, tears might have been involved and out of desperation I reached for my scriptures in search for some answer and some peace. I just opened to a random spot and started reading and then I found it the Answer to my problem. Not the boy problem, but the controlling my life problem. It is in the Book of Mormon Mosiah 24:15 and it reads "And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord." That's it. The answer. The Lord knows more about me than I do. I need to release MY grip on my life not grudgingly but cheerfully and let the Lord take it in his gental hands. And so that scripture became my motto in life. When face with a big decision what really matter was what my Heavenly Father wanted and not I wanted, though 8 times out of 10 we wanted the same thing.
So I let go which included Chaz. Andrew and I only dated for 4 short months but because I was now open minded I learned so much more in those months then I did in my past 3 year relationship. I came home a new person with a bigger better goal. I was becoming who I was meant to be and I was SOOO happy.
I then headed out to school once more. BAAM! Life threw a curve ball, my swing missed and it hit me in the gut. I was completely penniless and jobless. My parents ended up paying for everything... and I felt awful. No, not just awful worse then that. Every time I would talk to my mom on the phone crying was in order. Plus there was this feeling I couldn't shake off. That I wasn't where I was suppose to be but I knew that home wasn't the place for me either. I prayed and prayed for an explanation. I didn't get one and the feeling didn't leave. Then the announcement happened...
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints holds a meeting every six months called General Conference. Our modern day Prophet speaks along with other seers and revalators. Every member around the globe tunes in to this to learn new things about our Savior and his direction. The very first session President Thomas S. Monson stood up and announced this. Yes, you have to watch to hear what he announced.
My answer. I was suppose to be on a mission. Not at home, not a school, but sacrificing 18 months to preach something I know with out a doubt to be true. But this revelation wasn't just for me. This effected the entire world. Here is a video. Its of a graduating 2012 class in Utah and them receiving their calls after this glorious announcement. About 104 teens received their call or are planning to soon. Now it is 14 minutes. You could just watch 4 minutes to understand the impact it has had on peoples lives.
And now I will add the video of me opening my own call to serve. I google talked with my brother and sister-in-law who are in St Louis, my two sisters and brother-in-law who are in Idaho and my best friend and cousin who is in Utah. So my entire family was there! It was a special day!
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