I was a rough teenager, I'll admit it. I wanted to do what I wanted and if it meant hurting my family I was willing to risk it. I finally went off to BYU, thousands of miles away and hit the reality wall pretty hard. It didnt take me long to write my mom and apologize for all the crap I put her through. I realized finally that my goals were all twisted around a boy and not my Heavenly Father. When I came home from my freshman year at BYU I swore I would take this short time to make it up to my family. It worked I fell in love with them more then I ever had been. I finally became that big sister my little sisters always wanted.
This last fall semester when I made the spontaneous decision to go on a mission my heart hurt to know that I wouldn't get much time with them if I went for winter semester as well. I got down on my knees and asks for direction. It was almost instant. I knew that I needed to take the next semester off and spend as much time as I could with mi familia.
With family as my new focus I totally felt a greater spiritual influence. I've grown happier and content with the way my life has played out. Its so amazing the way the Lord works because while filling out my papers I just knew that I should still be here for my sister Josie's graduation. I knew that it would be a long wait but this gave me the opportunity to work a bit and get some money in my pocket.
Coming home though was a little tough. All my friends that are my age are now on missions and though I love my younger high school friends it would be nice to hang out with people my age. The first two months were... amazing. (You thought I was going to say awful, didnt you?) The reason for this was I had one friend Grant Ward who wouldn't leave for his mission till February 6th. We weren't very close when I was dating Chaz but he was still a great friend none the less. These last two months gave Grant and I an opportunity to become even greater friends. I might have developed a little crush during that time but that's besides the point. Now that he's gone I've become a hermit. Life doesn't exist beyond the home and if it does its only when I'm out with my mom.
My poor mother. I wouldn't be surprise if she's sick of me. I am with her almost all the hours of the day. However! She hasn't said anything yet so I'll just push until she says stop. ;) When it comes to my siblings they feel guilty every time they go out on the weekends leaving their sad 20 year old sister at home but I don't want them to miss out on fun because of me (though I am The Fun). Its just one of the small price I've gladly paid to be home this semester.
This past Thursday the Midwest was hit with a huge snow storm and the schools here think that even if we only get a foot of snow there is no way school can be in session. But in all reality it makes sense here. We might only get a foot of snow but we also get two inches of ice that rests on top of the snow. Take a look at the picture below it might look like a wintery wonderland but if you would take a step out on the snow it would be like walking on a frozen lake. While in St Louis this weekend I walked across a yard of snow and I was reminded of The Dark Knight Rises. Exile or Death and I was sentence to Exile. To walk on the frozen river. It ended happy for me, not because Batman showed up only because its just snow and my life isn't that exciting. The girls had two snow days. For me it means two days of not bugging my mom so much and more time to bug my siblings. I enjoy snow days! Haha
So for those teenagers out there who think they are suffering because of their parents, my advice is to stop the complaining and take a moment and listen to them. MOST of what they say is for our protection and crazy enough they are probably right even if you think they are wrong!
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